Charleston, South Carolina

Every day, for the past ten years or so, since the time I actually began to understand relationships; I have had people say to one another, “I’ll always be there for you.” Recently, something caught my attention on Facebook. A post that explained how adult friendships are not based upon your presence in somebody’s life through thick and thin. No doubt that’s true. But there is another reality to this truth.

As you grow up and unravel new chapters of life, relationships change. It doesn’t necessarily mean that those people walk out of your life, it just means you talk a little less. But that person’s importance should still remain there. No matter what the magnitude. Shouldn’t it? As I mentioned earlier, that post focused on the idea of how friends can’t possibly be there for you at every stage because they are busy trying to figure out their lives as well. I agree.

Yes, you can drop in a quick text about how you can’t take their call right now and will try to get back to them as soon as possible. But guess what? Sometimes you don’t “get back” at all. It is understandable that you’re busy to take the call, but it doesn’t justify your action of being too busy to not even text because your presence on social media seems to be active enough. If you had those 10 seconds to post, comment, like or share something, then you surely have those seconds to text the friend who called you weeks ago.

There is a fine line between being “busy” and “not caring enough”. Marriage, children, job and every other factor that can possibly keep you busy will always keep you busy. There is no escaping. But how you prioritize your friendships in what makes the difference. A text written in fifteen seconds would count more than that fifteen minutes conversation.

I am guilty of this myself. I have done this to so many friends of mine. But sooner or later I recognized where I was going wrong, and that is all you need. Your friends don’t require your love and attention through “thick and thin”, they just need you through random moments. To tell the truth, the amount of friends I have lost since I moved to America is ridiculous. They never got back to me, even after all the efforts I made. And so there came a point when just like them, I stopped caring. My focus was then directed to rather a handful of people who actually mattered. People who took those 15 seconds out of their busy lives to send one text.

Writer | Poetess