The Black Hole of the Comfort Zone

Photo by Inside Weather on Unsplash

Of course I had to be the queen of unwillingness and procrastination. My parents provided for everything till the age of twenty-two. I was enrolled in the best school and then the best university, what more could I ask for? However, in the middle of raising their kids and making their dreams become a reality, my parents forgot something essential.

They had cared for us so much that we had become oblivious to the world outside the four walls of our house. We were unaware that our so-called comfort zone was an epitome of a jailhouse.

Preparing for the uncertain is never undemanding, especially when it is against the very concept of your “how” to live a life. My parents were stricken with a challenge that shook them to their cores. They found themselves torn between life-altering decisions, and no matter which choice they decided to go with, would have impacted the lives of their children to a great extent. So, what happened then?

My parents had to choose to take the risk of getting out of their comfort zones.

Ironically, everything that my parents had worked for, prayed for or hoped for came crumbling down. It should not have, but it did.

There is a reason why I am mentioning this erratic change in our lives. It taught us something that we should have been preparing for our whole lives, but we did not. It ended up costing us months of sleepless nights and anxiety. Through my tale, I wish to guide anybody who feels they are in the same situation I used to be before moving to America and truly desire to pull themselves out of this dark hole.

Do not be like us, take away a lesson from my family’s mistake.

Creating a comfort zone for yourself is not a harmful thing, however, staying in that zone for the longest period will become destructive and will suck you into this darkness associated with comfort zones, something I like to call “the black hole of comfort zone”.

Everything that I am about to tell you can be applied to any aspect of your life that has become a prison for your growth.

There are thousands of decisions that we have to make on daily basis, while some are insignificant, others will pave the path to our success. This means if you do not challenge yourself on insignificant decisions then there is no way you will be able to get creative or take risks when it is the time to make important decisions.

I mean, wake up one day and decide to not eat the same breakfast as yesterday. Trust me when I say this, the amount of energy and thinking it takes to switch up something so simple as breakfast will blow your mind. This one simple act will stimulate your brain.

Gauge your flexibility and sharpness through insignificant decisions of your life, little habits decide the fate of your behaviour in uncertain times.

Take a step back and notice what or who is it that you feel dependent on. Whether emotionally, physically, mentally or financially. You may not be able to eliminate all kinds of dependencies, but start with the one that you have consciously “chosen” to act upon. Untethering from a person or a thing is a lot harder than it looks and doing so requires stepping outside of your comfort zone.

If circumstances allow then you need to detach yourself from whatever is keeping you closed in a box. Learn to disagree with decisions made by family members if you feel unsure about them. Set boundaries for friends if they do not respect your perception of certain things. Silently walk away from situations that cloud your judgement and force you to act against your will.

If I had said no to every situation my gut had told me to, life would have been different and I would have been tougher.

Actively listening to other people’s opinions and managing to avoid conflict plays a vital role in shaping your life. You may have been raised differently than the kid next door, but that does not mean you are allowed to label that kid’s ideas as “wrong”.The sooner you allow yourself to politely pay attention to what others are saying, the easier it becomes to settle in different environments.

Once you step out of your comfort zone, you will begin to realize that there are thousands of opinions regarding everything. You have to master the art of not engaging in conversation with every person you stumble upon, thus, you need to let go of the stubborn upbringing if it has taught you to only support your point of view. This characteristic will serve as a hindrance out in the bigger world.

Listen to what others have to say, absorb that as knowledge and then present an idea that amalgamates both perceptions.

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Writer | Poetess | Financial Consultant. A South-Asian Woman Mastering the Art of Metamorphosis as an Immigrant.

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Afifa Zaheer

Afifa Zaheer

Writer | Poetess | Financial Consultant. A South-Asian Woman Mastering the Art of Metamorphosis as an Immigrant.

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